he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
