Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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