this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Text me some of your sweat
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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