Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I understand Curling. That high.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
