I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize