i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
