Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I love having hate sex.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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