i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize
