It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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