Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
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