The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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