We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
