She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
