I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Alive.
So much puke
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
