do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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