In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
