Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
