I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
