When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
