i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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