He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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