i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
