Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
