if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
