How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
