Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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