I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
