he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
