I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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