Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize