Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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