What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize