Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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