i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
