I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
