I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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