Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
