She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
