Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I have fence marks all over my body
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
