if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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