Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
