Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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