I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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