Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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