Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I had to cum in my sink.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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