real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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