FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
