the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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