i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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