I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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