it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
