Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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