he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize