I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize