If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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