Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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