part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize