Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
