You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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