belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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